growing up

At some point, our chests become too heavy and overwhelming that it drives us to tears. But what for? We have to learn to grow up. We have to accept the responsibilities because like it or not, this is life. When our yoke is heavier than what we are accustomed to, it’s either we cope and deal with it or we run away and never grow up.

Dec 28’06

broken

With broken wings you carry on, never knowing how this road may end

You live a life behind a mask and it hurts to know

That no one reached enough to take it off.

And you stand there alone

Dec 4’06

dying dreams

[1] Of unquenched thirst the man must fall

Passive dreams die unnoticed;

They leave the world unchanged

But like cancer they haunt and crawl

And leaves the soul no rest at all.

Martyrs die because of faith

While war heroes for freedom now decay

And what of humans who are ever hungry?

With broken wings they fall into misery.

Away from passion they lose their identity

Yet do not despair and give them no blame

Life isn’t always a balanced scale

Out into the world we give up our dreams

Sacrificing everything else for stability

Losing ourselves, working like zombies

We cry and we toil yet why did we say yes?

We want everyone to live so now we’re rotting within

 

[2] It’s the worst feeling in the world to be inside a crowd and yet you feel alone

Nothing hurts as badly when you breathe with broken ribs

The pain’s too great, your eyes run out of tears

And yet you’re still alone.

[3]

When all that’s left are sole memories

Of the life we knew before

Looking back, will we sigh in regret

Or will we go yearn for more?

Time goes passing by

As sea waves come to meet the sand

And If we choose to close our eyes

Life escapes our grasp.

Oct 14’06

 

joyous misery

I quiver in the dark, gaping helplessly,

unable to contain the fires within

I burn

I ache

I cringe in delight and bliss

Too great is the inferno that my waters start to dry

Surely can no one quench this thirst inside?

And now I join the sickly weak

Tis my fate, oh joyous misery!

June 25 ‘06

dad

My scars are bleeding and I can’t make them stop

I’m broken to pieces and all I ever needed was your love

The world is changing as time goes passing by

Leaves start to fall again, and now it’s time to say goodbye

 

It’s bittersweet to let you go, so much of you has captured me.

 

And I can’t close my eyes without dying in my sleep

I try to understand why you’re no longer here

Not a day passes by without me thinking of you

It hurts me when I lie and say that I’m okay

 

‘cause letting go hurts more than anything.

 

The day you left me was the darkest night of all

If only I was strong enough then I could’ve stopped my fall

I’ll try to come back and pretend that you are near

Even if it’s hard for me, I’ll stop myself from drowning in my tears

march 6’06

true strength

Childhood and innocent crimes

How long ago they seem

Seasons change and pass us by

Now the sapling is a tree.

It holds its ground firmly

Though the wood is dry and bare

Even after men have stolen its fruits

The tree remains standing there.

Tempests have come and gone

Most wounds now appear as scars

 

But the trunk is still intact and strong

The leaves continue to look at the stars.

Humbly they move along with the wind

Witnessing changes unfold

Although painful, change can be good

It reminds us that we are getting old

The leaves now start to fall

As the angels start to weep

Tomorrow a new coat of leaves will be born

And by then, the cracks wouldn’t be so deep.

Feb15’06

star

A star so far and wide

Too great for men to reach

Have I a right to make it mine

Or do I wait for its descent to me?

I felt my heart break

All shattered to pieces once again

The burden of the tears I shed

Is  too much to comprehend

How can I go back to live

If my soul no longer exists?

What purpose is the light from above

If all along I have lived in the abyss?

Fairy tales and happy endings

Are mere excuses and lies

Life is not always jolly and smooth

Behind the pain is where reality hides

I’ve fettered my heart too many times

Now I hold back once more

What use are my silly rhymes

If what I’ve given will never be returned?

Feb 15’06

him

I love thee through and through

Though waves now twist and turn

My heart and soul remains still true

The fire will linger and burn

Jan 23’06

a prayer

Lord, you know my every thought and in my every heart beat, you are there. Thank you for your love. In everything that happens in my life every second of everyday, grant that your will be done. I only ask that you bless me with enough strength and wisdom. You know the people that are now a part of me. They are very dear and I pray that you continuously protect and guide them for they all matter to me.

Lastly lord, I ask for your pardon for all the shortcomings and the sins that I and the rest of the world commit everyday. Please forgive us for submitting to our gnawing emptiness that resides in the depths of our souls. We only seek to be loved and for a place to belong. And I am sorry fpr using my being human as an excuse to hurt you/ my other siblings.

Remind me lord that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Thank you for never leaving us. May our faith continue to shelter us during rainstorms and serve as a ray of light in our lives. Help us to be graceful in defeat and meek during victories. All things come from you lord. Amen.

Dec ‘06