baluktot

bumuntong hininga.
araw-gabi nagkukunwari.
pangarap na walang patutunguhan.
lahat na lang nasasawi.

happy birthday tita luth, the wind beneath our wings.

shadows

it rains and the world begins to take a darker shade. pit. pat. pitter. patter. a distant rumble. flashes of light dancing through the darkness.the leaves sway in the rhythm of the wind.

i never really understood why rain evokes sentimental thoughts and nostalgia. i just find rain so beautiful to look from afar. the vision becomes tainted though the moment people, including myself, incorporate regrets and bittersweet memories with a force of nature necessary for rebirth. if you ask me, i can say that the sun can be more cruel on unlucky days. sure, the sun can give off radiance and warmth but i prefer the cool aesthetic feeling that rain leaves behind.

in terms of eye accommodation, light, i discovered, can be harmful if taken in excess(of course, too much of anything is just as bad) but its implications are far more traumatizing, especially for one such as myself who went through it first-hand. i learned that if you bask in the light too often, you forget your surroundings, much like standing up front on a stage with the spotlight to yourself. the intensity can be blinding at times too. its magnitude can even penetrate our skin and burn it. what’s also frightening is that once you decide to take the light with you, making it a part of yourself, you can’t turn back. ever. you are marked for life. but then i believe light has more power over darkness, no matter what. you see, darkness is only searing if people delve deep into its entirety. but it becomes obsolete with just a small glimmer of light. that small spark is enough to guide you through the vast blackness of the unknown. light on the other hand, is never enveloped by the dark, and that’s why it’s so powerful that it can be life-threatening.

now the sky grumbles. the last of the thunderbolts streak the sky and the precipitates slow down, the waters evaporating. the air becomes humid and the winds disappear. the sun struggles with the clouds, fighting for space and dominion over the sky. it strives to push the dark ones aside to shed some illumination. it succeeds, as usual. and then the day becomes dry and dreary.

oysters and motorelas

five nights ago, i was walking home, having an internal argument because a part of me wanted to go home via motorela. but there was also the urge to walk home. finally, i decided.

i’ll walk home. anyway, i’m used to walking and going at my own pace. besides, the air is clammy from the rain. i like it.

upon reaching loreto’s, tomas saco street, my fickle mind started to complain with the mud puddles and the splashes from the passing cars.plus, i was getting really hungry.

fine, i’ll ride.

let the motorela symbolize my submission to common standards and conformity.
two motrelas pass by. another. two more. three.

if i can’t hail this last one, i swear, i will walk home.

a motorela passes by me after i tell the driver my street. i prepare to cross to the other side for safety since i would be walking home. just then, an old friend’s car stops in front of me.

a free ride. great. i get a free ride.

what does god want me to learn this time?

***

the turtle and the oysters (taken from the priest’s sermon last sept.14)

oyster 1: I feel so alive! I can move and breathe and jump!
oyster 2: I don’t feel so well. I cannot move my body completely and it is difficult for me to breathe.
turtle: blessed are you oyster 1 for you are able to move and breathe and jump. but blessed are you more oyster 2; your pain is there because of the pearl growing inside you.